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However, this type of admirer could overcome his shyness and naivety by asking for the help of a "tulay" (Filipino for "Bridge", whose role is similar to that of the Wingman in Western Cultures), typically a mutual friend of both the suitor and the admired, or a close friend of both families.
Through this "human-bridge", the bachelor can also ask permission to visit the woman at home from the bachelorette's father.
It’s true — the sight of a foreign woman and Chinese boyfriend or Chinese husband is much rarer than its counterpart, the foreign man and Chinese woman.
If you go to any major city in China, you will invariably run into the foreign man-Chinese woman pairings in any major tourist or shopping destination; not so with foreign women and Chinese men.
When I’m in China, I tend to turn a lot of heads, especially in the countryside — and that’s not just because I’m a foreigner.
It’s because I’m often seen holding hands with my Chinese husband.
Fortunately, their ideas changed when they met me in person!
The teasing practice assists in discerning the actual feelings of the male and the female involved.
Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent.
And if they are to leave China to go to her country, they will face even more obstacles to earning money — language, culture, prejudices.
This teasing phase actually helps in circumventing such an embarrassing predicament because formal courtship has not yet officially started.
Furthermore, this "testing phase" also helps a man who could be "torpe", a Filipino term for a suitor who is shy, "stupid", and feels cowardly, and is innocent and naïve in how to court a woman.