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Until then, I’m going to enjoy the relationship and not let this bother me.This little exercise will help you train your mind to stay calm and avoid spinning into a frenzy.Rather than reflexively panicking when something seems amiss, set a deadline.For example, if you started seeing a guy and don’t hear from him for a day or two, say, “I will not panic about this right now.Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much? First, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.You talk regularly, go on fun dates, it seems to be going really well. Meanwhile, in boy land, he’s been really slammed at work and has barely had a minute to come up for air.

This also works if you’re in a more established relationship.

Let’s say you don’t see your boyfriend as often as you’d like.

Maybe you’d like to go on dates more regularly or see him a few times during the week.

In my article on why guys suddenly lose interest, I discussed how caring too much or stressing over your relationship can irreparably damage it. When you eliminate the care (or worry or stress or whatever you want to call it), you are free to really be in the relationship.

The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. You can see the other person for who he is and you can give yourself to him freely – no strategy, no game-playing, no manipulation. You can just be and there is no greater feeling than that. How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and alarm bells? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life” Quiz right now and find out if you’re sabotaging your love life, and if you need to get out of your own way…

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