Problem with online dating sites

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As a result, users get matched up with people they have nothing in common with and, date after torturous date, they're left asking themselves 'What is wrong with me? To get the date you really want, you have to hack the system.

Lucky for you, Webb's already done all the grunt work.

The stigma of meeting someone over the Internet has faded.

But it’s not all candlelit dinners and walks on the beach.

When she took a look at her matches' matches — the other women he had been paired up with — she found some striking commonalities.

She also found some key differences between their profiles and her own.

The site could give them advice on the best way to craft their messages, such as this blog post from Ok Cupid’s Ok Trends blog, and this TED talk by Evan Marc Katz.

This is the crux of the problem, says Webb: Smart algorithms getting skewed by not-quite-honest answers.

Unfortunately, Webb says, "very few of us have the ability to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves" As a result, we get "matches" that don't match us at all. In a recent study of undergrads, 60% of participants lied at least once during a 10-minute casual conversation with a stranger.

Another study estimated that the average person lies in one in five of his or her daily interactions.

Then, just before the waiter dropped off the massive bill, the date left, never to be seen again. When the dates didn't improve, she started logging them in a spreadsheet, pulling out dozens of data points on her alleged "matches" in an attempt to discover what was going wrong.

Webb tracked everything from the number of times a date made her high-five him to how often he made an awkward sexual remark. "It turns out that these probably weren't bad guys," she says in a TED talk.

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